Congratulations, You're Engaged! Now What?

Tips for embracing your new chapter at your own pace.

You’re engaged. Congratulations!

How was it? Tell me everything. How did it happen? Where was it? Was it a surprise? Did you know it was coming? What were you wearing? Was it intimate and secluded, or were your friends and family around? What did it smell like? How did the air feel on your skin?

Why am I asking all these questions?

So that you remember to stay in each moment and savor every single step of this journey.

I suspect what immediately comes to mind are questions like:

When do we share the news? When should the wedding be? When do we need to pick a venue? What are our colors? Who’s invited? How long do I have to get in the best physical shape?

But what if your answer is simply: I don’t know yet.

Here are a few tips that will allow you to go at your own pace:

1. Getting engaged doesn’t mean you have to become a wedding planner immediately.

You don’t need a Pinterest board by tomorrow, a venue by next month, or a perfectly thought-out vision for what your wedding is supposed to look like.

2. You’re allowed to just be engaged.

3. Celebrate your engagement.

Tell the people you love. Go out for dinner. Pop a bottle of something. Take a million pictures—or don’t take any.

4. Spend a Saturday morning talking about what you both actually want before asking what everyone else expects.

5. Start with the experience—not the checklist.

Ask yourselves: How do we want this day to feel? Not how big should it be. Not what will impress people. Not what weddings are supposed to include.

6. Create a list of what is aligned with your values.

Maybe you want 100 people dancing until midnight. Or maybe you want six people, dinner, and really good cake.

7. Repeat after me: There is no prize for planning the fastest, spending the most, or checking every traditional wedding box.

8. This is a new chapter in your life. You get to decide how you enter it.

So before you start planning the wedding, take some time to enjoy the engagement.

You just said yes. Let that be enough for a minute.